Thursday, June 14, 2007

There is No Cod

I have a few things to say today.

First off. To the chef whose name rhymes with "boil" who was the "instructor" at the cooking class I attended last night:
When I Google "cod casino recipe" and get exactly ZERO hits, I think it's safe to go out on the limb of proclaiming that THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS COD CASINO. As I pointed out, it's a CLAM dish in it's original form.
Good save though even if it was at the expense of "teaching" blatantly incorrect information.
And you were correct about the east coast thing, but really, cod casino? I'm still laughing.

Second, to the person who left this on my truck in the parking ramp:

I'm sorry, really, but It's just not my fault.

First of all, it's simple math. The distance between the lines in the Calhoun Square ramp is literally like ONE FOOT more than with width of my truck. SO, while I have no doubt that the six inches left next to my door and the line made it difficult for you you exit your vehicle, I feel I must point out that YOU CHOSE to park next to me when you could have had your pick of any number of cramp-free spots the ramp on a Wednesday evening. And do you think I like having to squeeze myself back into my vehicle any more than you liked having to squeeze out of yours?
It's a BIG FREAKING TRUCK, and it takes up a lot of space. And, since I don't have the luxury of being able to own or drive a special Uptown-sized car to make both our parking experiences more enjoyable when I come to Uptown, and since I can't swallow the idea of sitting on my motorcycle wearing a helmet and leathers during rush hour when it's 93 degrees outside so that I can arrive and sit in sweaty, rumpled jeans smelling like hydrocarbons for three hours while worrying about who's trying to steal my ride, you're just going to have to deal, OK?
But be nice, because next time, if I find you, I'm going to make YOU park the freakin' thing. Maybe then you'll fully comprehend the agony that is parking and driving a 23 foot long vehicle ANYWHERE in Uptown. And after that maybe you'll realize that I'm about as tidy and as careful about it as I can be.
Just ask my friends who have seen me parallel park it like I'm driving a Mini Cooper.

Ok, then.
Did you hear about the Target survey that made people "uncomfortable"? Well, I happened to have received and responded to that survey, and yes, it was weird. I even told Boy "I took the weirdest survey from Target today". But "uncomfortable" to the point that people complained enough that they stopped it? That's just stupid, and people need to quit whining or, HELLO????, NOT PARTICIPATE???
One article I read said people were offended by the "personal" questions. Um, ok. A personal question is like "what was the date of the first day of your last menstrual period?" or "what kind of underwear do you prefer?", not, "I can be sarcastic and cutting when I need to be?" (to which, can you believe it?, I responded "strongly agree" :) )
And again HELLO? IT WAS ANONYMOUS, people! Get a grip.

I truly think that something is happening with our collective consciousness that is making us stupider, because the stuff I have seen and heard people doing in the last week just cannot be explained in any other way. It's like we're all acting in response to some mysterious force without realizing it....kind of like when a whole pod of whales beaches itself...

Yes!! I'm with you. Do you want a list?
I am here as a witness, Splatgirl does park that extra long truck like she's driving a 1988 Ford Escort. I can't believe someone who parked next to you left that note on your truck.
My BF has coined the term "Festival de los Buttheads" to describe the phenomenon you describe. He also believes the events are happening at a faster pace as time goes on. What was once a weekly occurrance is now almost daily. Have you ever seen the movie "Ghostworld"?
Dipshit service people, wacked-out drivers on cell phones, boom-boom music coming out of cars that make me feel like my fillings are gonna fall out...yeah...its Festival time.
Can you say.....Nutrasweet? Its what makes people stupider!
Well, atleast your note-leaver didn't put anything dirty on the note! What a riot. Cece
i drive a mini cooper and i can't parallel park it. well i can, if forced but would rather not. mostly because it's embarrassing when i try and fail. or have someone honking at me because i'm taking so long.

good thing that minis are really easy to park nose first.
Apparently, though you can't find the recipe you could drive your very large truck down to West Bend Wisconsin and order some Cod Casino off the menu at Schultz's White Tail Inn. If you cleaned out the back, you could probably fit in enough "Cod Casino" to fill the clown's car full of it when you find him.
Oh yes, the 'stupid factor'...It's why I completely avoid GMO's, among other things like chemical saturation in my food and shampoo. Sigh...we know, we know, but too many go there anyway. Do we want to save money or save our brain cells?
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