Monday, November 12, 2007

Hiccups

I admit it.
I am the most evil dog mommie EVER, capable of sending relaxed, happy, lounging dogs running in terror, searching for cover in the furthest reaches of the house.
All with one fell swoop...er noise...?

Otherwise known as WHY is PupCake standing in the bathroom shaking like a leaf in a full, drippy-nose cower?









Because mommie has da hiccups.

Yep, that's right. Those horrible, hound murdering hiccups that spell impending, painful doom to any Greyhound within a one mile radius.
Must.
Get.
Away.
From.
Mommie.
...before she peels back my fur and pokes toothpicks into my eyeballs with her hiccups.
Welcome to my Greyhounds' neuroses.

In other news, I've had the most fabulous idea for a new kind of exercise machine.
Now, you're familiar with that 80's stand-by, the StairMaster, right? And it's much adored full-body workout cousin, the NordicTrack? Or my own, much coveted but never owned personal favorite, the VersaClimber?
Yes, so. Along those same lines, my new invention.
It's called the RakeMaster, and it's guaranteed to give you the full body workout of your dreams. You know, the kind of workout that makes what you thought was your reasonably fit body feel like it got hit by a truck? It will be a huge hit, I promise, because it will give the gift of "The Raking Workout" to all those less fortunate folks who live in non-deciduous-tree bearing places, and extend the season of awesomeness that is "The Raking Workout" for us forest dwellers to year 'round.
Seriously.
I think I got hit by a truck while I was using that rake. There must be a way to duplicate this without having to actually rake actual leaves.
On the other hand, yesterday was an absolutely amazing weather day for November, and I've got a nice tidy half acre of yard to prove it. Not to mention some seriously sore, evidently previously unused muscles.

Comments:
I get the same obnoxiously loud and horrific hiccups! they are scary and embarrassing!
 
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